November 12, 2018
10:45pm: Good evening everyone. It’s currently 27 degrees and I’m FREEZING. I’m hoping being under a warm blanket in this chilly room will only help me sleep better. Which is the plan, right after I finish this post.
Today was a good day. I woke up a little late and in pain but that was the worst part of my day so I can’t complain too much. It got better when some amazing, kind hearted ladies helped me out. They have no idea that what they’re doing for me, is absolutely life saving for me. I don’t ask for help often. I want nothing more than to be independent at all times but sometimes people see through me and give me help without me even asking. It blows my mind and fills my heart with hope and happiness. I also got my new anxiety meds today. Something I’ve really been needing because I’ve been struggling sooooooo badly. My panic attacks have gotten much worse over the last couple years. It’s embarrassing and sometimes I’m still ashamed that I’m not strong enough to prevent them for happening. I keep telling myself that with time, I will get better control of the random pointless anxiety attacks. I’m sure I’ll always have my struggles but I truly believe in myself and my future. I know for a fact that things will get better. Not just for me but my entire family.
I got this goal journal recently. I put all my goals in there. Small and big goals. From losing weight, to getting another tattoo, to learning another language, to buying my first home. I set realistic timelines so I don’t feel overly rushed or panicked about meeting my goals. It’s helpful and gives me something to concentrate on instead of dwelling on things I can’t change. I wish I could these for everyone I know.
Speaking of gifts for everyone I know… Christmas is only 43 days away. I’m not sure I’ll be able to get my kids much this year but I surely wanna make sure I get them all a little something to make them smile. I’d also like to try and get a small gift for my fiancé and my best friend. I know they’ll be understanding if I can’t but they’ll be surprised and thankful if I did. They definitely deserve a gift. They’ve done so much for me and I love them so much. At the very least, I’ll be making them a card. I enjoy making things for people so it’s a win/win situation.
I thought that I had more to write about but all my brain is thinking about is getting under these covers and falling fast asleep so I can be well rested for work for once. I hope everyone gets to wake up happy and healthy tomorrow. Sweet dreams my loves. ☺️💋😴
MyPublicHonesty 